Monday, February 8, 2010

My Granddaughter Visits Bok Tower in Florida





On Friday, I decided to go visit this place, or sanctuary, called Bok Tower. They call it the singing tower, and it is aptly named. You are not allowed into this phallic cathedral, but I decided that, compared to the outside, the inside is probably quite prosaic. It is a glory of architecture, Phoebes. The stone walls are milky pink/peach swirl. At the top are stone creatures with bodies of men but heads of some sort of bird. They have a few balconies that freckle the tower, which one can only dream of getting to stand on. One balcony has an inconspicuous red door that just begs to be touched, analyzed, and opened. It stands high above, mocking my desires. Do I feel a metaphor coming on?

The windows are not glass; they are more like glazed pottery, with cutouts of monkeys, palm trees, Adam and Eve, and any other random biblical/tropical idea you can think of put together.

The ultimate, though, and the reason I stared at the damn thing for a half an hour, is the gold-plated brass door located at the bottom of the tower. The door is in the shape of an arch. And it looks like they placed a gold quilt on it. There are picturesque scenes in each square, which I could not identify. But I was beyond mesmerized. I felt like I had just stepped into Narnia and that door led to Aslan. The door knob was of a bird’s head, and it held a heavy golden ring in its mouth. I so desperately wanted to touch it, to almost caress it, to know it, as if, behind its strong purpose, sat all the answers. I feel I shall forever be haunted by that door. I feel I will see it my dreams, and its magic and mystery will forever pulse through my veins.



To top it all off, I was not only feeling mystical, but I was hearing haughty music vibrating from the tower, which it is designed to do, but the music only added to putting me into a cathartic peace.

It was a cloudy, warm day, and the wind blew and whispered at me. For the two hours, I was there, in this plant sanctuary that is exposed daily to the vibrating meditations and the mesmerizing power of the tower when I, too, realized I had become hypnotized. I felt the peace echoing through every inch of the place and saying, “The peace is within you; I am not the peace…it is in you.”

I continued to wander around the gardens in my omnipotent state. I let the divinity within blossom in the sunlight of the tower, and I soaked up the musical vibrations like water to the soul. I was the plants, I was the peace, and I was the omniscient knowledge that would not cease. I am not apt to say that a place has power over one’s emotions or a place defines your state, but, through experience, one cannot deny that some places evoke poignant feelings. Perhaps it is a little of both, the state I am in and the state the place is in, that combine to create this melody of moods. Never knowing where it started or where it ends. Never knowing if I am my own placebo and that, by being in a place that I subconsciously know should make me feel that way, this creates the feeling. Then, is the peace within subconsciously projected and hence outwardly re-projected back onto myself? This might be a good time for one of my favorite sayings: "The world is a reflection of yourself." Now this seems to be more relevant than ever. It almost seems like a game, to be aware of the places that move you to a higher state and wonder why you would ever leave them for the places that evoke subconscious feelings of disgust. But I cannot believe that. There is beauty everywhere. Everywhere! Perhaps it is the belief that stems from me that a place is not beautiful. I choose not to be in a state of peace all the time because I choose to perceive my world not in a state of peace. But therein lies the truth, for the world is always at peace. It is only I who can create a state of disdain. Only I can create.

Would one want to create beauty all the time? Or is there a balance in believing in ugliness and beauty? Would I become jaded and soon beauty itself would become ugly? It seems I ask questions to which the answers are irrelevant. Why even worry about it? Perhaps I am making it more complicated than it needs to be. You like some places, and you don't like others. Some days you feel good, and some days you feel bad. Put the two together and you have a state of being. The rest is a circle of thought, about which there is no point to seek the end, for there isn't one. It's a circle, you dumbass!

Ramble, ramble, ramble…I hope I have confused you as much I have confused myself.



Yesterday.....oh, yesterday was perfect. I snuggled up to the TV, because, yes, it does get cold in florida, and I zoned out to “The Client,” a drama about a young, independent, and boisterous boy who was in the wrong place at the wrong time, but thankfully a divorce lawyer, played by Susan Sarandon, was there to save the day and help solve the mystery, after which I decided perhaps I should be productive.

I wandered out to our little 10 x 5’ garden and decided to weed out the half that hadn't been weeded and stake my claim. I am endeavoring to try my black thumb at gardening in the hopes that anything green will come out. The soil is so sandy, though, that I don't know what would be willing to survive in it. Research......

Then, I promptly decided that was enough work for one day, and I slugged back over to the couch and nestled in again. To my surprise, the last Matrix movie was on, equivalent to trash, but there is a small amount of food for thought in it…enough to warrant not getting up to change the channel because we have no remote, so whenever something’s on that I don't necessarily like, I pretty much make myself find a way to like it.

I planned my weekend this way. When asked what I was going to do this weekend, my reply was, “Hopefully nothing.” I wanted a weekend to re-collect myself and prepare for fire.

OK, I will admit I did start a sourdough starter, so I did do at least two productive things, though there is an ad here to "Create an avatar worthy of your features. Play sorority life and show off with how beautiful you are!" Oh, excuse me from my novel. I think I just found my calling! You guys sure are lucky I found something to stop my mind (hence, my fingers) from continuing these endless rambles. Lucky this time; perhaps not so lucky the next.

Sorry, Phoebes, that this turned into one of those letters that originally started out to you, which is why it is written as it is, since I write a certain way when I write you. But since I love what you inspire to come out of me, it then turned into a letter that should be shared with all. So, to all who read this know, it doesn't necessarily stream from me; there is a hidden magic from one of the dearest people to walk the earth. And, don't worry---she knows it’s true. Because I said it, therefore it must be true! We tend to gush on each other. It's a good circle---one I am happy to be in.

OK, so I love you, Phoebes, and I hope you don't mind the sharing of your inspiration, and I love everybody else who drains all their mitochondrial waste just in order to read my epics.
Love,
E or B


Editor's Note: For incredibly detailed pictures of Bok Tower, please visit the following Web site:
http://www.blacksmithing.org/events/Bok2009/Bok2009.htm

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Click to play this Smilebox slideshow: Snowpocalypse, Baltimore, February 2010
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Cut Down But Not Into

Snowmageddon. Snowpocalypse. The Perfect Storm. That's what Baltimore had this past Friday and Saturday, February 5 and 6, 2010. This part of the country gets snow, but it's hardly ever this much at one time. This is not snowmobile city, believe me. It will be days before any city snow plow comes down my street (if ever). The snow is so deep that it's not snow plowing we need; it's snow removal. There is no place to put this much snow in a city environment. After two days of blizzard-like conditions with 30+ inches of snowfall and 5-foot-high drifts, today the sky is blue and the sun mocks us. Nobody is moving. Cars are buried. The only thing visible on my car in the driveway is the radio antenna which is mounted on the roof in the back. It would take 4 days of 50-degree temperatures (which won't be happening) to melt the snow off my car.

Only one enterprising neighbor boy was out with a shovel this morning, and he charged me $60 (cash; no checks) to shovel the sidewalk and a narrow path on the porch so I could open my front door. Anyone who is disabled or unwilling to risk a heart attack to shovel her own walk is held hostage to these prices. Take it or leave it.

My back surgery was scheduled for tomorrow (Monday). The only way to get to the hospital in the morning would be with the assistance of the National Guard and a Humvee. Obviously, since this surgery is elective, that's not going to happen. Thus, the surgery is postponed for perhaps another month. Mother Nature is a force about which we can do nothing. I am simply grateful that today is Super Bowl Sunday and that I don't have to go anywhere but downstairs to the refrigerator for beer, chips, and guacamole. Bugger the diet. Above is a picture of my car. No, not the one in the street. It's the big white blob right next to the black porch railing. That's it! I hope to be able to see it and drive it again sometime in the next month. Sigh.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Bad Romance

Remembering that Madonna was generally regarded as a musical genius, we now have a new generation of bad-ass girls who are also musical geniuses, and probably the best example of that is Lady Gaga. She is daring, cutting-edge, irreverent, symbolic, and open to sober or drunk interpretation. In addition, she has revived disco. God invented disco, and She makes sure, through Divine Inspiration, that it reappears in our culture from time to time, lest we forget where we came from.

Copy and paste the URL below into your browser for a review of Nemiroff LEX vodka, a product of Ukraine, as featured in this Lady Gaga video.

http://www.thedrinkshop.com/products/nlpdetail.php?prodid=1981

Copy and paste the URL below into your browser to view and listen to the best video of "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga and company. The lyrics, deserving of post-graduate study, are below for erudition's sake. She is a genius. Say what you will.

Speaking of listening, a person truly needs good speakers to listen. Altec Lansing computer desk speakers with an under-desk powered subwoofer are available for only $49. That's cheap for what you get out of them. Music was invented so that our souls would not be interminably lonely. It's good to turn up the volume and let the music take you over.

Copy and paste the URL below into your browser to see the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrO4YZeyl0I

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance
Rah rah ah-ah-ah!
Ro mah ro-mah-mah
Gaga Ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance

Rah rah ah-ah-ah!
Ro mah ro-mah-mah
Gaga Ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance

I want your ugly
I want your disease
I want your everything
As long as it’s free
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love

I want your drama
The touch of your hand
I want you leather-studded kiss in the sand
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love

You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want it bad
Your bad romance

I want your loving
And I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!)
I want your loving
All your love is revenge
You and me could write a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance

Rah rah ah-ah-ah!
Ro mah ro-mah-mah
Gaga Ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance

I want your horror
I want your design
‘Cause you’re a criminal
As long as your mine
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love, uhh

I want your psycho
Your vertigo stick
Want you in my room
When your baby is sick
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love

You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
(‘Cause I’m a freak bitch baby!)
I want it bad
Your bad romance

I want your loving
And I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!)
I want your loving
All your love is revenge
You and me could write a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance

Rah rah ah-ah-ah!
Ro mah ro-mah-mah
Gaga Ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance

Work-work fashion baby
Work it
move that bitch crazy
Work-work fashion baby
Work it
move that bitch crazy
Work-work fashion baby
Work it
move that bitch crazy
Work-work fashion baby
Work it
I’m a freak bitch baby

I want your love
And I want your revenge
I want your love
I don’t wanna be friends

J'veux ton amour
Et je veux ton revenge
J'veux ton amour
I don't wanna be friends

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
(I don't wanna be friends)
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance

(I don't wanna be friends)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
(Want your bad romance)
Caught in a bad romance
(Want your bad romance)

I want your loving
I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!)
I want your loving
All your love is revenge
You and me could write a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
(Want your bad romance)
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance
(Want your bad romance)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
(Want your bad romance)
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance

Rah rah ah-ah-ah!
Ro mah ro-mah-mah
Gaga Ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Whenever You Need to Cry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_PIadFsvDk&feature=channel

Click on the hot link above to see this YouTube video. Leonard Cohen is a crazy-genius poet.

"Dance Me To The End Of Love" by Leonard Cohen

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in
Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love
Oh let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone
Let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon
Show me slowly what I only know the limits of
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love

Dance me to the wedding now, dance me on and on
Dance me very tenderly and dance me very long
We're both of us beneath our love, we're both of us above
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love

Dance me to the children who are asking to be born
Dance me through the curtains that our kisses have outworn
Raise a tent of shelter now, though every thread is torn
Dance me to the end of love

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic till I'm gathered safely in
Touch me with your naked hand or touch me with your glove
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Lift Every Voice

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uv1xDg-zngg&feature=fvw

Click on the above hot link to view a YouTube video of "Lift Every Voice and Sing" performed by the Boston Pops Orchestra and Choir. The lyrics are below.

Historic African Americans featured in the video are (in order of appearance): Crispus Attucks, Dred Scott, Nat Turner, Harriet Tubman, John Brown, Frederick Douglass, Abraham Lincoln, Madam CJ Walker, W.E.B. Dubois, Booker T Washington, Marcus Garvey, Jack Johnson, Jackie Robinson, Dr. Charles Drew, Rosa Park, Malcolm X, Marian Anderson, Martin Luther King Jr, Muhammad Ali, Shirley Chisholm, and Mae Jemison

"Lift Every Voice and Sing" (also known as "The Negro National Anthem") written by James Weldon Johnson

Lift every voice and sing
'Till earth and heaven ring,
Ring with the harmonies of liberty;
Let our rejoicing rise
High as the listening skies;
Let it resound loud as the rolling sea.

Sing a song full of the faith that the dark past has taught us,
Sing a song full of the hope that the present has brought us;
facing the rising sun of our new day begun, let us march on till victory is won.

Stony the road we trod,
bitter the chastening rod,
felt in the days when hope unborn had died;
yet with a steady beat,
have not our weary feet
come to the place
for which our fathers died?

We have come over a way that with tears have been watered,
We have come, treading our path through the blood of the slaughtered,
out from the gloomy past,
till now we stand at last
where the white gleam
of our bright star is cast.

Lest our feet stray from the places, our God, where we met thee;
lest our hearts drunk with the wine of the world, we forget thee,
shadowed beneath thy hand,
may we forever stand,
true to our God,
true to our native land.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Being Cut Into

On Monday, February 8, 2010, I will be cut into.





















The surgery will be done at Good Samaritan Hospital in Baltimore by one of Johns Hopkins' leading orthopaedic surgeons. The purpose of the surgery is to insert a small titanium device called X-STOP between the spinous processes of L4-5 for the treatment of lumbar spinal stenosis (LSS). Under local anesthesia with intravenous sedation, the device is inserted through the interspinous ligament to provide a permanent spacer that will increase the amount of space around the spinal cord and nerve roots that exit through the foramina. It is this decrease in space, caused by arthritis and a central disk herniation, that has created severe pain down both legs for the past 6 months, and the pain, the physical limitations, and deleterioius lifestyle changes have become intolerable. I am not one who enjoys being surgerized or medicated, but sometimes life hands you unexpected and unwanted burdens that put a strain or a damper on creativity. Being able to live pain-free, being able to move around, being able to travel, and being able to enjoy being conscious are highly valued by me; thus, I am willing to undergo the knife. Prayers and good wishes are welcomed. Thanks for your love and moral support.